There's only one option.

(Photo Courtesy of Keith Dunn 2010)

Some days I wake up and have no desire to get out of bed. The thought of approaching my day and all that I have to accomplish is overwhelming and unappealing. I wonder how I'll get it all done and if it is even worth doing. Some times, I feel like throwing my hands up and walking away - never looking back. As I was driving to work the other day "Leaving Chicago" by Knockout shuffled on. The lyrics are simple:


"Sometimes I feel like leaving, forgetting all these feelings. Let me start over in a better place. It's raining, I'm staying, wish I could stop complaining, but now I'm stuck and I just can't move on. I don't think that this will work out on it's own. Times are hard when you just sit there all alone. Now that I'm getting older, no chance of starting over. I think too much about the times I've lost. Maybe I should realize that there is more to this life. Until then it's just me and apathy. I gotta get out, gotta get away from this. Something's keeping me from leaving. There's nothing left for me here."

But then I sit back, contemplate everything on my to do list, remember why it's all there and how many people are counting on me. What I do is not just for myself but for my kids, for my friends, for random people that I will never meet. I work so I can feed my family. I share my talents to help someone have a fantastic wedding day. I do my job well so that I can make someone's day without ever having met them. I can't afford to look back. I can't afford to regret any aspect of my life. The only option: Keep moving forward. Try new things. Put yourself out there. Take risks. Be curious. In the words of Walt Disney:

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths."

You never know what will work out in the end. But if you're doing what makes you happy, it makes life so much easier to manage. I've been forcing myself to fit my star peg in to a circle hole and it just doesn't work. And you know? I'm okay with that. There's a fit for me somewhere and I think I've just about found it. 

I decided to revamp this blog and really just post whatever I feel like (which was the original intention). Whether it's fashion, current events, introspection, art, baking, dancing, you name it - it could show up. This past year and some change has been rather tumultuous but I plan on keeping up shop with a little more regularity this go-round. ; )